Week Twelve: Amy Winehouse - "Tears Dry On Their Own" - Back to Black

It's so odd to think that just a year ago today, Amy Winehouse was living out the last 24 hours of her life.  The accounts of those closest to her in regards to these last 24 hours are so bizarre to me.  Her mother, Janis, says that she stopped by Amy's flat for tea and that they sat around and chatted (and I believe looked at some photos).  Her boyfriend, Reg, says that he was trying to wrap up some work before they headed off for a friend's wedding and that he was supposed to stay the night at Amy's place, but he got stuck at work; so she was going to settle in with some DVDs.  Her "handler" (such a weird term to me since it makes her sound like an animal), Andrew, says that she was tipsy throughout most of the day but that she had been really loud that evening playing her drums in her room and that he had to quiet her down.  Her doctor said that Amy was a bit tipsy when she left from completing Amy's checkup but that she had not expressed a desire to die or self-harm, or anything of that nature.  So what went so wrong that caused her to consume such copious amounts of alcohol to the point of causing her own death?

What is also interesting to me is that after Amy's death, The Sun (which I realize is a tabloid), quoted Blake as saying, "My tears will never dry...."  What struck me most about this quote is that it was so obvious that the entire relationship between Blake and Amy focused on Blake and on what Blake wanted and on what Blake thought and on what Blake felt.  Now, I can only go by what I read because I did not personally know either of them; however, no one close to either of them has even attempted to contest that idea.  Also, I want to make it clear that I don't hate the guy because, again, I don't know him or even much about him, other than that he is a recovering addict.  However, even in Amy's death, he still was putting the focus all on him - even going so far as to say that he had a plan to save Amy once he got out of prison.

I remember watching a youtube clip (included below) of Amy and Blake at the Paddington Station, and at one point, he goes walking off (to smoke a cigarette, I'm assuming, since he comes back with a pack of cigarettes in hand), and Amy chases after him like a woman obsessed!  He appears so callous and put out the whole time while Amy is pawing at him and trying to get closer as he just goes along with it all.  It's sad to watch it play out in front of you.

Then, what sickened me even more was when I read reports, confirmed by friends of both, that Blake would make Amy give him money to kiss her and be affectionate in public so that he could go buy drugs.  Others said that Blake was fond of Amy but that he was never truly in love with her.

Regardless, I suppose that where I am going with all of this is that: Yes, Blake, your tears will eventually dry... in fact, it seems they already have... even on their own, like Amy's... the ones that you, my dear, were the cause of...

All I can ever be to you is a darkness that we know
And this regret I got accustomed to
Once it was so right when we were at our high
Waiting for you in the hotel at night

I knew I hadn't met my match but every moment we could snatch
I don't know why I got so attached
It's my responsibility and you don't owe nothing to me
But to walk away, I have no capacity

He walks away, the sun goes down
He takes the day but I'm gone
And in your way in this blue shade
My tears dry on their own

I don't understand, why do I stress the man
When there's so many better things at hand
We could a never had it all, we had to hit a wall
So this is inevitable withdrawal

Even if I stop wanting you, a perspective pushes through
I'll be some next man's other woman soon
I cannot play myself again, I should just be my own best friend
Not **** myself in the head with stupid men

He walks away, the sun goes down
He takes the day but I'm gone
And in your way in this blue shade
My tears dry on their own

So we are history, your shadow covers me
The sky above, a blaze

He walks away, the sun goes down
He takes the day but I'm gone
And in your way in this blue shade
My tears dry on their own

I wish I could sing no regrets and no emotional debts
'Cause as we kiss goodbye the sun sets
So we are history, the shadow covers me
The sky above, a blaze that only lovers see

He walks away, the sun goes down
He takes the day but I'm gone
And in your way my blue shade
My tears dry on their own

He walks away, the sun goes down
He takes the day but I am gone
And in your way my deep shade
My tears dry on their own

He walks away, the sun goes down
He takes the day but I'm gone
And in your way my deep shade
My tears dry