Week Twelve: Amy Winehouse - "Love is a Losing Game" - Back to Black

On this, the one year anniversary of Amy Winehouse's death, I have selected the song that I feel properly sums up her struggles - "Love is a Losing Game".  First and foremost, I would like to mention that I spent two years of my life studying to be a substance abuse counselor; so I am not pulling the analysis that I am about to offer in regards to this song out of my arse.  I got to the very end of the program and only needed to complete a one-semester internship and then go down to Austin to take the state exam, and then I would have been a certified substance abuse counselor.  I couldn't go through with it.  Addiction and working with addicts is heartbreaking.  It's full of relapse and failure - often resulting in death, as was Amy's sad fate.  I realized that I would take my clients' relapses and failures far too personally, and I had to begrudgingly admit to myself that it was not the line of work for me.  I still came out of it with a Mental Health/Substance Abuse Prevention Certificate, and I realized that I was actually far better geared towards working as a Paralegal through the ethics and legal studies I had to conduct in regards to the medical field and practices; so I do not view it as lost time, by any means!!

Now, back to Amy... so when one has an addictive personality, anything that gets those "feel good" chemicals flowing in the brain has the potential to become an addiction.  For Amy, I believe that love gave her the same highs (and lows) that drugs and alcohol did.  Where love becomes a losing game for an addict is in the sense that there is generally an endless supply of drugs and alcohol; whereas, there is not always an endless supply of love and affection from your romantic partner, especially if they are also an addict.  Then you have the whole co-dependency cycle that develops and the substituting more drugs and alcohol for the loneliness and games that are being played.  It becomes a mess, and all of those cognitive connections that you have created in regards to your feelings are so entangled that it often takes a great deal of counseling and dedication to oneself (i.e. - a good deal of time single) to get it all sorted out.  Above all, though, it takes sobriety and a clearer head.  So even if Amy had ever been able to kick her alcohol addiction on her own, which was what she was attempting; I still fear that she would have battled love addiction for eternity, or until she sought help.

Subconsciously, I think Amy might have known this about herself.  I have come to this conclusion through some of her lyrics.  In her song, "Addicted," she talks about weed substituting the place of a man in her life, and in "Tears Dry On Their Own," she knows that she shouldn't: f*(C)k herself in the head with stupid men.  Ultimately, I think she makes it crystal clear in this song, "Love is a Losing Game"...



For you I was a flame,
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came,
Love is losing game

One I wish I never played,
Oh, what a mess we made
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game


Played out by the band,
Love is a losing hand
More than I could stand,
Love is a losing hand

Self professed profound
Til' the chips were down
Know you’re a gambling man
Love is a losing hand

Tho' I battled blind,
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind,
Love it is a fate resigned

Over futile odds,
And laughed at by the Gods
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game