Post #664: R.E.M. - "Losing My Religion" - Out of Time

So it's no secret that I was raised Catholic.  I attended 10 (ten) years of Catholic school.  I was Baptized and received my First Reconciliation, First Communion, and Confirmation.  I even went back and taught at a local Catholic school for nine (9) years.  Therefore, it's safe to say that I was fully indoctrinated with the religion and its teachings. 

The primary thing I took from Catholicism is that we are sinners and that we must earn our way into Heaven through repentance and good deeds.  For an individual like me who is an over-achiever and who never believes that anything she does is ever enough, that is a very dangerous religion to adopt from such a tender and impressionable age.  The guilt can be suffocating!!

I eventually pulled away from Catholicism.  I still believe in God and in doing as many good deeds as is humanly possible, but I can't stomach too much more from that religion.

I have taken up meditation lately.  I have always been a huge fan of yoga, but I have struggled with meditation.  Oddly enough, the former religion teacher from the Catholic school where I was employed sent me information about a meditation app called Insight Timer. I love it!!  It has taught me that I am enough, and I have done enough!!!

I even set myself up with a little meditation altar (which is soooooo not necessary, but it can help keep you focused if you are a beginner):

And I will leave you with this interesting little tale...  On January 1st, this guy who lives a few apartments down from me placed an apple in front of a Buddha statue that is sitting outside in front of a tree.  The squirrels proceeded to go completely crazy on said apple, and then it just disappeared.  After I finished a meditation session yesterday, I looked out my window and was thinking about how much I am enjoying meditation.  Immediately in front of me, on one of the branches, was the remains of the partially eaten apple.  It was a bit unnerving, and I had to look up the meaning of the apple.  I discovered that is an offering that is symbolic of the desire for enlightenment.  Now don't get me wrong... I don't intend to make any offerings to any of my statues; however, I still found it incredibly coincidental. I also came across this quote from Buddha while I was looking up the information about the apple:

So maybe I was just ready to move on to another spiritual level in my life, and I assure that I have plenty of amazing teachers on the above-mentioned app.

I will also add that I am fully aware that today's tune is not actually about losing one's religion.  According to Wiki, it is "an expression from the southern region of the United States that means losing one's temper or civility, or 'being at the end of one's rope'."

It seemed fitting, and I haven't covered it yet... Namaste!

Until next time...

XOXOXO

Anastasia

Life is bigger

It's bigger

And you, you are not me

The lengths that I will go to

The distance in your eyes

Oh no, I've said too much

I set it up

That's me in the corner

That's me in the spotlight

Losing my religion

Trying to keep up with you

And I don't know if I can do it

Oh no I've said too much

I haven't said enough

I thought that I heard you laughing

I thought that I heard you sing

I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper

Of every waking hour

I'm choosing my confessions

Trying to keep an eye on you

Like a hurt lost and blinded fool

Oh no, I've said too much

I set it up

Consider this

The hint of the century

Consider this

The slip that brought me

To my knees failed

What if all these fantasies

Come flailing around

Now I've said too much

I thought that I heard you laughing

I thought that I heard you sing

I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream

That was just a dream

That's me in the corner

That's me in the spotlight

Losing my religion

Trying to keep up with you

And I don't know if I can do it

Oh no I've said too much

I haven't said enough

I thought that I heard you laughing

I thought that I heard you sing

I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream, try, cry, why, try

That was just a dream, just a dream, just a dream

Dream