Week One Hundred and Forty-Six: The Creatures - "Pity" - Boomerang

Yes, you are getting this post one day early, and no, it is not because it is Valentine's Day... However, I think you will understand why I have done what I have done by the time you make it to the end of this post. And now I will tell you the story of Budgie...

I met Budgie in June of 2002 when he was a resident of the Forney Road Animal Shelter in Pleasant Grove. He was only six (6) months old when we first met. In fact, he was so tiny that they housed him behind the glass with the cats because they were afraid he was going to slip through the cage bars if they put him with the dogs. Budgie was originally named Tico, and he was born without one of his toes.

Budgie was not originally mine. One of my ex-boyfriends actually rescued Budgie, but when he finally got Budgie home, he decided that he was too little. He called him a "stupid, gay little dog" and declared that he was taking him back to the shelter. (In case you were wondering, yes, it was the abusive boyfriend that was unfortunately part of my life for six (6) years.) My heart was breaking for Budgie. He had just been neutered, had just found a home, and was going to be taken back just like that. I couldn't let it happen, so I agreed to take him in.

Budgie and I have been through everything together. He was with me through every major relationship, every major break up, the death of my first dog, Siouxsie, the loss of almost all of my grandparents, my alcoholism, my sobriety, all of my new career changes. Everything I have gone through over the past 13 years, he was right there by my side.

Budgie was diagnosed with a heart murmur a few years ago, and he succumbed to the final stage of heart failure this past Sunday around 11:00 pm. I will be leaving in a few hours to bury Budgie down at the lake next to Siouxsie. Today will be very sad for me, and I can't go through all of these feelings again on Sunday. Therefore, I am posting this memorial for him today on Valentine's Day.

I won't go into all of the gruesome details of what lead me to realize that Budgie was at the end of his life. However, I will tell you that, in essence, his heart became enlarged from working overtime while trying to pump blood out into his body. I would prefer to think that he loved so many people so fiercely that his heart got so big that his body couldn't hold it anymore.

Now, I will include a little photo history for you. The first few pages are from the scrapbook that I made for Siouxsie after her death...

Below are a few of the photos I snapped of Budgie after he officially became mine:

Budgie seriously loved everybody, even my cat, August. In the picture below, he is actually hugging August:

Budgie was such a little snuggle bug, and he loved to be warm and cozy. In the picture below, he is laying in his bed next to an oil heater:

You might recall that Budgie went through a major surgery approximately four (4) months ago to remove some bladder stones when I posted that he now possessed an $1100 penis. It was in my Kate Bush - "Running Up That Hill" post. Here is his picture from when I picked him up from surgery:

And aside from this box of ashes that I will bury in a few short hours, all that is left of my loyal little companion of 13 years are my memories. When I said goodbye to him, I kissed him on his head, told him he was such a good little boy, thanked him for everything, and told him to come visit me often in my dreams:

So the real question you may be asking yourself is why I selected a song by The Creatures. The Creatures were made up of Siouxsie and her husband, Budgie, from Siouxsie & the Banshees. They were also the namesakes for my dogs, and I even designated it on their tags:

So until we meet again, my precious little Siouxsie and my precious little Budgie, I hope you are having a complete and total blast at the Rainbow Bridge... I love you both with all my heart! And remember to come visit me in my dreams as often as you can...

Ugly words, ugly crimes,
ugly thoughts invade your mind
No charity, no dignity,
no sympathy... so I'll be deaf, dumb, and blind today
Nausea is all I feel today
Divorce these crimes from my eyes

Lowered cowls, silent vows,
withered crocus on the ground abound
From your cell are distant bells,
blossom falls like snow and dies in silence
All decays and breaks silence
All decays then dies...

Sadness chimes bitter times
Hardened fools unfair, unkind
Mercy me, mercy you
Say you do have pity for the things we do
Say you do... you do

Save me... no vision today
Save me... no hearing or speaking today

Say you do have pity for the things we do
Say you do... you do

Hear no evil, see no evil, say no evil.